Train your children to face.struggle..

क्या भौतिक शिक्षा से जिंदगी सफल है ????

एक लड़का था. बहुत ब्रिलियंट था. सारी जिंदगी फर्स्ट आया. साइंस में हमेशा 100% स्कोर किया. अब ऐसे लड़के आम तौर पर इंजिनियर बनने चले जाते हैं, सो उसका भी सिलेक्शन हो गया IIT चेन्नई में. वहां से B Tech किया और वहां से आगे पढने अमेरिका चला गया. वहां से आगे की पढ़ाई पूरी की. M.Tech वगैरा कुछ किया होगा फिर उसने यूनिवर्सिटी ऑफ़ केलिफ़ोर्निआ से MBA किया.

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अब इतना पढने के बाद तो वहां अच्छी नौकरी मिल ही जाती है. सुनते हैं कि वहां भी हमेशा टॉप ही किया. वहीं नौकरी करने लगा. बताया जाता है कि 5 बेडरूम का घर था उसके पास. शादी यहाँ चेन्नई की ही एक बेहद खूबसूरत लड़की से हुई थी. बताते हैं कि ससुर साहब भी कोई बड़े आदमी ही थे, कई किलो सोना दिया उन्होंने अपनी लड़की को दहेज़ में.

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अब हमारे यहाँ आजकल के हिन्दुस्तान में इस से आदर्श जीवन की कल्पना नहीं की जा सकती. एक आदमी और क्या मांग सकता है अपने जीवन में? पढ़ लिख के इंजिनियर बन गए, अमेरिका में सेटल हो गए, मोटी तनख्वाह की नौकरी, बीवी बच्चे, सुख ही सुख, इसके बाद हीरो हेरोइने सुखपूर्वक वहां की साफ़ सुथरी सड़कों पर भ्रष्टाचार मुक्त माहौल में सुखपूर्वक विचरने लगे|

आप उस इंजिनियर लड़के का क्या फ्यूचर देखते हैं लाइफ में? सब बढ़िया ही दीखता है? पर नहीं, आज से तीन साल पहले उसने वहीं अमेरिका में, सपरिवार आत्महत्या कर ली. अपनी पत्नी और बच्चों को गोली मार कर खुद को भी गोली मार ली. What went wrong? आखिर ऐसा क्या हुआ, गड़बड़ कहाँ हुई.
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ये कदम उठाने से पहले उसने बाकायदा अपनी wife से discuss किया, फिर एक लम्बा suicide नोट लिखा और उसमें बाकायदा justify किया अपने इस कदम को और यहाँ तक लिखा कि यही सबसे श्रेष्ठ रास्ता था इन परिस्थितयों में. उनके इस केस को और उस suicide नोट को California Institute of Clinical Psychology ने study किया है. What went wrong?
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हुआ यूँ था कि अमेरिका की आर्थिक मंदी में उसकी नौकरी चली गयी. बहुत दिन खाली बैठे रहे. नौकरियां ढूंढते रहे. फिर अपनी तनख्वाह कम करते गए और फिर भी जब नौकरी न मिली, मकान की किश्त जब टूट गयी, तो सड़क पे आने की नौबत आ गयी. कुछ दिन किसी पेट्रोल पम्प पे तेल भरा बताते हैं. साल भर ये सब बर्दाश्त किया और फिर अंत में ख़ुदकुशी कर ली... ख़ुशी ख़ुशी और उसकी बीवी भी इसके लिए राज़ी हो गयी, ख़ुशी ख़ुशी. जी हाँ लिखा है उन्होंने कि हम सब लोग बहुत खुश हैं, कि अब सब कुछ ठीक हो जायेगा, सब कष्ट ख़तम हो जायेंगे.

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इस case study को ऐसे conclude किया है experts ने : *This man was programmed for success but he was not trained,how to handle failure.* *यह व्यक्ति सफलता के लिए तो तैयार था, पर इसे जीवन में ये नहीं सिखाया गया कि असफलता का सामना कैसे किया जाए.*

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आइये ज़रा उसके जीवन पर शुरू से नज़र डालते हैं. बहुत तेज़ था पढने में, हमेशा फर्स्ट ही आया. ऐसे बहुत से Parents को मैं जानता हूँ जो यही चाहते हैं कि बस उनका बच्चा हमेशा फर्स्ट ही आये, कोई गलती न हो उस से. गलती करना तो यूँ मानो कोई बहुत बड़ा पाप कर दिया और इसके लिए वो सब कुछ करते हैं, हमेशा फर्स्ट आने के लिए. फिर ऐसे बच्चे चूंकि पढ़ाकू कुछ ज्यादा होते हैं सो खेल कूद, घूमना फिरना, लड़ाई झगडा, मार पीट, ऐसे पंगों का मौका कम मिलता है बेचारों को,12 th कर के निकले तो इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज का बोझ लद गया बेचारे पर, वहां से निकले तो MBA और अभी पढ़ ही रहे थे की मोटी तनख्वाह की नौकरी. अब मोटी तनख्वाह तो बड़ी जिम्मेवारी, यानी बड़े बड़े targets.

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*कमबख्त ये दुनिया  बड़ी कठोर है और ये ज़िदगी, अलग से इम्तहान लेती है*. आपकी कॉलेज की डिग्री और मार्कशीट से कोई मतलब नहीं उसे. वहां कितने नंबर लिए कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता. ये ज़िदगी अपना अलग question paper सेट करती है. और सवाल सब out ऑफ़ syllabus होते हैं, टेढ़े मेढ़े, ऊट पटाँग और रोज़ इम्तहान लेती है. कोई डेट sheet नहीं.

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एक अंग्रेजी उपन्यास में एक किस्सा पढ़ा था. एक मेमना अपनी माँ से दूर निकल गया. आगे जा कर पहले तो भैंसों के झुण्ड से घिर गया. उनके पैरों तले कुचले जाने से बचा किसी तरह. अभी थोडा ही आगे बढ़ा था कि एक सियार उसकी तरफ झपटा. किसी तरह झाड़ियों में घुस के जान बचाई तो सामने से भेड़िये आते दिखे. बहुत देर वहीं झाड़ियों में दुबका रहा, किसी तरह माँ के पास वापस पहुंचा तो बोला, माँ, वहां तो बहुत खतरनाक जंगल है. Mom, there is a jungle out there.

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*इस खतरनाक जंगल में जिंदा बचे रहने की ट्रेनिंग अभी से अपने बच्चों को दीजिये*.।
साभार

Train your children to face struggle of life, which is not mentioned in school syllabus.

- anonymous

Who is you life partner? It's your body..

Who is your life partner ?

Mom / Dad
Husband /wife
Son / Daughter

Your real life partner
is Your "Body"

Once your body stops responding no one is with you.

You and your body
stay together from
Birth till Death.

What you do to your
body is your
responsibility and
that will come back
to You.

The more you care
for your body, the
more your body will
care for You.

What you eat,
What you do for being Fit,
How u deal with
stress
How much rest you
give to it..
Will decide how your body gonna respond.

Remember your
body is the only
permanent address
where You live.

Your body is your asset / liabilty, which no one else can share.

Your body is your
responsibility.
Because...
You are Your real
life partner.

Be Fit  forever

- Anonymous

Letter from God

प्रभू का पत्र

मेरे प्रिय...

सुबह तुम जैसे ही सो कर उठे,
मैं तुम्हारे बिस्तर के
पास ही खड़ा था।

मुझे लगा कि तुम
मुझसे कुछ बात
करोगे।

तुम कल या पिछले हफ्ते
हुई किसी
बात या घटना के लिये
मुझे धन्यवाद कहोगे।

लेकिन तुम फटाफट
चाय पी कर
तैयार होने चले गए
और मेरी तरफ देखा भी नहीं!!!

फिर मैंने सोचा कि तुम नहा के
मुझे याद करोगे।

पर तुम
इस उधेड़बुन में
लग गये कि
तुम्हे
आज कौन से कपड़े पहनने है!!!

फिर जब तुम जल्दी से
नाश्ता कर रहे थे
और
अपने ऑफिस के कागज़
इक्कठे करने के लिये
घर में
इधर से उधर दौड़ रहे थे...

तो भी मुझे लगा कि
शायद अब
तुम्हे मेरा ध्यान आयेगा,

लेकिन ऐसा नहीं हुआ।

फिर जब तुमने आफिस
जाने के
लिए ट्रेन पकड़ी
तो मैं
समझा कि
इस खाली समय का
उपयोग तुम मुझसे
बातचीत करने में करोगे

पर तुमने थोड़ी देर
पेपर पढ़ा और
फिर
खेलने लग गए

अपने
मोबाइल में और
मैं खड़ा का
खड़ा ही रह गया।

मैं तुम्हें बताना चाहता था
कि दिन का
कुछ हिस्सा मेरे साथ
बिता कर तो देखो,

तुम्हारे काम और भी
अच्छी तरह से होने लगेंगे,

लेकिन तुमनें मुझसे बात
ही नहीं की...

एक मौका ऐसा भी
आया जब तुम
बिलकुल खाली थे

और
कुर्सी पर पूरे
15 मिनट यूं ही बैठे रहे,
लेकिन

तब भी
तुम्हें मेरा ध्यान नहीं आया।

दोपहर के खाने के
वक्त जब

तुम इधर-
उधर देख रहे थे,
तो भी मुझे लगा कि
खाना खाने से पहले तुम
एक पल के लिये
मेरे बारे में सोचोंगे,

लेकिन ऐसा नहीं हुआ।

दिन का अब भी काफी
समय बचा था।

मुझे लगा कि
शायद इस बचे
समय में हमारी बात
हो जायेगी,

लेकिन घर पहुँचने के
बाद तुम
रोज़मर्रा के कामों में
व्यस्त हो गये।

जब वे काम निबट गये तो
तुमनें टीवी खोल
लिया और
घंटो टीवी देखते रहे।

देर रात थककर तुम
बिस्तर पर आ लेटे।

तुमनें अपनी पत्नी, बच्चों को
शुभरात्रि कहा

और
चुपचाप चादर
ओढ़कर सो गये।

मेरा बड़ा मन था कि मैं भी
तुम्हारी
दिनचर्या का हिस्सा बनूं...

तुम्हारे साथ कुछ वक्त बिताऊँ...

तुम्हारी कुछ सुनूं...

तुम्हे कुछ सुनाऊँ।

कुछ मार्गदर्शन करूँ
तुम्हारा ताकि
तुम्हें समझ आए

कि
तुम किसलिए इस धरती
पर आए हो
और किन कामों में उलझ गए हो,

लेकिन तुम्हें समय
ही नहीं मिला
और मैं
मन मार कर ही रह गया।

मैं तुमसे बहुत प्रेम करता हूँ।

हर रोज़ मैं इस बात का
इंतज़ार करता हूँ
कि तुम मेरा ध्यान करोगे
और
अपनी छोटी छोटी खुशियों के
लिए मेरा धन्यवाद
करोगे।

*पर तुम तब ही आते हो *
*जब तुम्हें कुछ चाहिए होता है। *

तुम जल्दी में आते हो
और
अपनी माँगें मेरे आगे रख के
चले जाते हो।

और
मजे की बात तो
ये है
कि इस प्रक्रिया में

तुम मेरी तरफ
देखते
भी नहीं।

ध्यान

तुम्हारा उस समय भी
लोगों की तरफ ही
लगा रहता है,

और मैं इंतज़ार
करता ही रह जाता हूँ।

खैर कोई बात नहीं...
हो सकता है
कल तुम्हें मेरी याद आ जाये!!!

ऐसा मुझे विश्वास है
और मुझे तुम
में आस्था है।

आखिरकार
मेरा दूसरा नाम...

आस्था और विश्वास ही तो है।

तुम्हारा ईश्वर...👣

- Anonymous

What is prayer ?

Do you Pray?

I loved this interpretation of Prayer. What is a prayer? Prayer doesn't only happen when we kneel or put our hands together and focus and expect things from God.

Thinking positive and wishing good for others is a prayer.

When you hug a friend. That's a prayer.
When you cook something to nourish family and friends. That's a prayer.
When we send off our near and dear ones and say, 'drive safely' or 'be safe'. That's a prayer.
When you are helping someone in need by giving your time and energy. You are praying.
When you forgive someone by your heart. That is prayer.

Prayer is a vibration. A feeling. A thought. Prayer is the voice of love, friendship, genuine relationships. Prayer is an expression of your silent being.
Keep praying always...
Stay Blessed

- anonymous

9 tips to develop your Presence of Mind

THE JZERO BLOG (article taken from)

Creating Wealth Through Learning

9 tips to develop your Presence of Mind

JULY 26, 2016 / TANVISHAH

An interview was going on. In the final round, the interviewer asked candidate to choose between two; 10 very simple questions or 1 really difficult question. Candidate promptly selected second option and went ahead with 1 really difficult question. Interviewer asked the question: what came first? The Hen or The Egg?

Candidate didn’t take a minute to think on it and gave the answer: Hen. Interviewer was surprised with his confidence and asked further, why?

Now candidate smiled and said, you cannot ask me another question as you agreed to ask only one difficult question.

No need to say that he successfully cleared the interview!

He could do it because he didn’t panic in that situation and could think calmly and take action accordingly.

This was nothing but his presence of mind!

So we can define presence of mind as having self-control in stressful situation along with the ability to think and act calmly.

Presence of mind is tool to deal with difficult situations. It is not like that you will get the solution quickly with this but it will help you to take correct decision, correct step.

Whether it is to work with your personal affairs or at your workplace, you need to be focused and calm. Lack of presence of mind can lead to serious problems.

Everyone is not lucky to have presence of mind as a natural skill (as we say it’s God’s gift!). Most have to cultivate the quality for presence of mind in them.

Here are some tips to develop the presence of mind.

Listen carefully:

Listen intently like this is the last time you are hearing it. Don’t just start judging by hearing a few words. When someone is talking to you, they are not just sharing their opinion but valuable information too. It is very essential for you to do something.

Observe:

Concentration and focus are key factors for presence of mind. Lack of focus and distracted mind leads to low presence of mind. If you know that you need to be able to replicate the action done by someone, you have to observe them carefully. Every time you cannot deal with the situation in same way.

Multitasking:

If you are not an expert at multitasking then its better that you avoid it and perform a single task at a time. Because it is possible that when you are engaged with one activity, you are thinking about another job also. Due to this, you do not pay enough attention to the task in hand and put that job at risk.

Priorities your tasks:

Start prioritizing your tasks if you are not doing so already. If you have something very urgent or important then try to complete it as soon as possible, as otherwise the thought of it will keep nagging you all the time while doing other tasks.

Switch between high and low attention tasks:

Switch to a low attention task for some time while doing the high attention task. For example, if you are working to create project plan for a large project, just switch to another job like housekeeping documents for 5-10 mins. Then switch back to task of creating project plan. It will give your brain rest and you will feel more energetic after it.

Take short breaks:

You can be master at focusing but you cannot continuously work for 8 hours. That definitely affects your power of concentration. You need to take short breaks in between. The  best way is to divide your jobs into small chunks of 1-2 hours and take 5 min break between 2 jobs.

Be comfortable:

Make sure that you are comfortable with your surrounding environment. If not then adjust it as per your comfort level or get adjusted to it. if you are not comfortable while doing something, you will later on try to find excuses for not being able to focus on important things.

Keep moving:

Best way to keep your mind still is to keep your body moving. You might have seen people who just keep walking here and there while reading something important or while preparing for exams. It’s just because it helps them focusing in what they are doing.

Emotional Balance:

Everyone has a personal life and hence personal problems. Sometimes these problems takes full control of our mind that we cannot think of anything else or cannot concentrate on important jobs. When personal problems start interfering into your professional life, it can be dangerous for you. You need to learn to keep your personal life separate from professional life.

This takes a bit of work and discipline on your part. You have to practice it daily, make it part of your life. Get habituated to it and one day you will master it!

नही की.....

लोग मेरी मुस्कान का राज पुछते हैं क्योंकि
मैंने कभी दर्द की नुमाइश नहीं की

जिंदगी से जो मिला कबूल किया
किसी चीज की फरमाइश नहीं की

मुश्किल है समझ पाना मुझे क्योंकि
जीने के अलग है अंदाज मेरे

जब जहां जो मिला अपना लिया
ना मिला उसकी ख्वाहिश नहीं की।

- Anonymous

How to Get Kids off the Screen & the Mobile

How  to Get Kids off the Screen & the Mobile
Do you ever struggle with getting your kids off the screen? Does it often end in tears (both theirs and yours)? Like so many other parents, I used to give my children warning.

“Five more minutes, then it’s dinner!” I’d yell from the kitchen.

This statement would either be ignored or grunted at.

Five minutes later, I’d march into the living room and turn the TV/tablet/gadget off, expecting them to silently accept and for us all to have a lovely, quiet dinner together.

What I got was screams, tantrums, cold dinner.

I realized something was wrong. Something was wrong in the way I was approaching the issue. My children aren’t naturally prone to tantrums, so I was thrown by this. I couldn’t work out what I could do to stop the sudden screaming at the end of every screen-time.

I wanted to find a way of gently disconnecting my children from the screen, of bringing them back into the real world without continual bumps and bruises along the way (because this happened almost every night), but I didn’t know how.

Then ,after a lot of research n all I found out a solution n was just waiting to try...

I Sarah Suterwala specializing in Child counselling had to find out a real hard core solution for this.

From that one day to the next, my world changed. I suddenly knew how to handle the end of screen-time without the screams, the tantrums, the cold dinner, or the grey hairs.

Here is the very simple method to end screen-time without the screams.

The science behind screen-time.

Have you ever had the electricity cut off just as the football game reached its most nerve-wracking stage?

Or your toddler pressed the “off” switch just as the final ball in the one ball one run cricket match?

It’s hard to come out of the state of pleasure, which is what screen-time creates in our brains. It’s hard for adults. For a child, it can be terrible. Literally.

Why?

When we human beings (not only children!) are absorbed in a film or playing a computer game, we are, mentally, in another world. Screens are hypnotic to our brains. The light, the sounds, the rhythm of the images puts the brain into a state of flow. We feel good, and don’t want to do anything else. We certainly don’t want the situation to change.

During these moments, our brains produce dopamine, a neurotransmitter which relieves stress-and pain. All is well – that is, until the screen is turned off. The dopamine levels in the body drop fast and without warning, which can, literally, create a sensation of pain in the body. This drop in hormones, this physical shock, is where children’s scream-time begins.

It doesn’t matter that we parents are quite clear that now is the end of screen-time. After all, we’d discussed and arranged it beforehand (”20 minutes!”), and/or given them warning (“5 more minutes!”). To us, it’s clear and fair enough, but to the child, it isn’t. When in front of a screen, she isn’t in a state to think that way or to take that information in. Her brain is awash with dopamine, remember? To turn the “off” switch on the television can, for the child, feel like a shock of physical pain. You’re not exactly slapping her in the face, but this is, neurologically speaking, how it might feel to her.

Cutting her off forcefully is hurtful. So instead of simply switching the “off” button, the trick is not to cut her off, but to instead enter her zone.

The trick: build a bridge

Whenever you decide that screen-time should come to an end, take a moment to sit down next to your child and enter his world. Watch TV with him, or sit with him while he plays his game massacring aliens on the screen. This doesn’t have to be long, half a minute is enough. Just share his experience. Then, ask him a question about it.

“What are you watching?” might work for some kids.

Others might need more specific questions. “So what level are you on now?” or “That’s a funny figure there in the background. Who’s he?”

Generally, children love it when their parents take an interest in their world. If they are too absorbed still and don’t engage, don’t give up. Just sit with them a moment longer, then ask another question.

Once the child starts answering your questions or tells you something she has seen or done on screen, it means that she is coming out of the “cut-off” zone and back into the real world. She’s coming out of the state of flow and back into a zone where she is aware of your existence – but slowly. The dopamine doesn’t drop abruptly, because you’ve built a bridge – a bridge between where she is and where you are. You can start to communicate, and this is where the magic happens.

You can choose to start discussing with your child that it’s time to eat, to go have his bath, or simply that screen-time is over now. Because of the minute of easing-in, your child will be in a space where he can listen and react to your request. He might even have been smoothed back into the real world gently enough, and is so happy about the parental attention that he wants turn off the TV/tablet/computer himself. (I’ve experienced my children do this, hand to heart.)

To me, simply the awareness of what’s going on in my children’s minds helps me handle end-of-screen-time much better than before.

It isn’t always as smooth as I want it to be, but we haven’t had a scream-time incident since I discovered this little trick.

Don’t take my word for it, go and try it yourself

Next time your child is sitting in front of a screen, and you want to end it, try this:

1. Sit with her for 30 seconds, a minute, or longer, and simply watch whatever she is watching/doing.

2. Ask an innocent question about what’s happening on screen. Most children love their parent’s attention, and will provide answers.

3. Once you’ve created a dialogue, you’ve created a bridge – a bridge that will allow your child to, in his mind and body, step from screen back into the real world, without hormones in free-fall, and therefore without crisis.

Just give it a try...
May be it could work wonders for you too...

Enjoy the rest of your day together.