Parent induced wastefulness

*PIW*
*Parent Induced Wastefulness*
_*(Don't) take it easy!*_

When parents strive to give their children the best of everything at an early age, they are sowing seeds for materially insatiable monsters that are prone to sloth, apathy, avarice and fear.

Don’t stand in self- defense as yet. I have proof.
As I sit in my counselor’s chair day after day I encounter an altogether a new disorder that I have come to label as- *Parent Induced Wastefulness* (PIW).

Here are a few examples:

* 26-year-old Manas does not want to finish his Engineering degree because he does not ‘feel like’ studying.
But he harasses his parents every day for money.
He tells me that whenever he did not feel like doing any particular activity, his parents told him he can quit.
They always said they did not want him to get ‘stressed’ like they were when growing up.

* 34-year-old Raghav is a qualified Engineer and is married for 2 years but his wife is not ready to live with him hence the counseling.
He is qualified alright but refuses to stick to any job as it makes him feel stressed!
Every two months he runs back home from work and wants his parents to solve his problem like they did every time he refused to go to school.

* 28 years old Anjali does not want to go back to her one-year-old marriage because it is too much for her to work in the office and then look after the household.
She wants her mother to come and live with her and do the household work.

There are many others...
but all originating in overzealous parents wanting to protect their children from even the smallest discomfort in childhood.
You love them alright, but when you shield them from the adversities of life, what you are doing is bringing them up in a sterile environment.
The result: the moment they are exposed to the world their immunity buckles up and they stand threadbare wanting to run away from everything that is anything but comfortable.

They have to live in this very world and away from you.
Do you really love them?
Or do you love yourself more?
If it is them, then you would ensure to make them future ready- let them face, talk to them, provide support, but let them face housework, studies, bullying and adversities.
Tell them money is limited and let them learn to hear a lot of ‘NO’.
That’s what makes them 'FUTURE READY'.

Spiritual Counselor

Things Child need to learn at an early ahe

Here is a list of things you need to teach your Child(ren) at early age:

1: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'

4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child.

7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.

8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).

11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.

13: Once your child complains about a particular person, don't keep quiet about it.

Take up the case and show them you can defend them.

Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
and remember "THE PAIN LASTS A LIFETIME"

Kaun tuje yu pyar karega... <3

Tu aata hai seene mein
Jab jab saansein bharti hoon
Teri dil ki galiyon se
Main har roz guzarti hoon

Hawa ke jaise chalta hai tu
Main ret jaisi udti hoon
Kaun tujhe yun pyaar karega
Jaise main karti hoon

Meri nazar ka safar
Tujh pe hi aake ruke
Kehne ko baaki hai kya
Kehna tha jo keh chuki

meri nigahein hain teri nigahon ki
tujhe khabar kya be-khabar

Main tujhse hi chhup chhup kar
Teri aankhein padhti hoon
Kaun tujhe yun pyaar karega
Jaise main karti hoon

Tu jo mujhe aa mila
Sapne huye sirphire
Haathon mein aate nahin
Udte hain lamhe mere

Meri hansi tujhse
Meri khushi tujhse
Tujhe khabar kya beqadar

Jis din tujhko na dekhun
Pagal pagal phirti hoon
Kaun tujhe yoon pyaar karega
Jaise main karti hoon

English translation--

You come in my heart
Whenever I inhale
I pass through the lanes of your heart every day

You move like the wind,
I fly like sand
who'd ever love you,
like I do..

The journey of my sight
stops at you only.
Is there anything more to say,
Everything that had to be said is said

My eyes belong to your eyes,
what do you know, O unaware one.

Hidden from you, I secretly read your eyes,
who'd ever love you,
like I do..

when you came and met me,
my dreams went crazy.
I'm not able to hold them in my hands,
my moments now fly..

My laughter is because of you
My happiness is because of you
You are unaware, O careless one.

The day I don’t see you,
I roam like mad
who'd ever love you,
like I do..

Movie: MS Dhoni The Untold Story
Music: Amaal Mallik
Lyrics: Manoj Muntashir
Singer: Palak Muchhal
Music Label: T-Series

Never try 2 find urself in sm1's heart

Agar, aap kisi ke dil mein khud ko dhoondhane ki koshish karte hain,
Iska matalab hai ki aap vahaan kabhi maujood they hi nahi.

Veeparitata se,

Agar, aap apane dil mein kisi ko dhoondhane ki koshish karte hain,
Iska matalab hai ki vah vahaan kabhi maujood tha hi nahi

In english..

If, You try to find yourself in someone's heart, it means that you were never present there.

Vice versa

If you try to find someone in your heart,
It means that he was never present there.

- by me

Letter from husband

His Wife Left Him And Their Son After A Fight. Two Days Later, He Posts This Shocking Letter
No matter how much you love your spouse, arguing with them is pretty much inevitable — especially when you have kids.

When you both work hard to do what’s best for your family, the stress and frustration may become too much to bear.

So when this wife felt unappreciated by her husband, she got tired of fighting with him. She tearfully left him alone with the children without any sign that she’d come back. Just two days later, though, her husband decided to write her a letter about his feelings, and you need to see what it says.

“My darling,

Two nights ago, we had a huge argument. I was exhausted when I got home from work. It was 8:00 p.m and all I wanted to do was to lie down and watch the game.

You weren’t in a good mood, and you were clearly tired after having a long day. You were trying to put the baby to sleep as the other kids were fighting, and all I did was turn the volume up.

“Would it kill you to play a more active role in your children’s upbringing?” you asked, turning the television volume back down. “You can help out more around the house, too.”

“Hey,” I said defensively. “I work hard all day just so you could play in the doll’s house all day.” The argument just kept going like that. I said terrible things to you that I can never take back, and you screamed, saying that you were sick of it all. So you tearfully ran out of the house, leaving me to take care of the children on my own.

I was forced to feed the kids and put them to bed all by myself. When you didn’t come back the next day, I was forced to ask my boss if I could take a day off so I could take care of the children.

I experienced the crying and the tantrums. I experienced having to run around so much all day that I didn’t even have a chance to shower.

I experienced being forced to heat the milk, getting the kids dressed, and cleaning the kitchen all at once. I experienced being cooped up all day without speaking to an adult. I experienced the inability to sit calmly at the table to have a relaxed meal whenever I wanted, because I had to run after the kids.

I experienced feeling so physically and emotionally drained that I just wanted to sleep for 20 hours straight, but had to get up a few hours after falling asleep because the baby was crying. I lived two days and two nights the way that you do, and I think I get it now.

I get your exhaustion. I get that being a mother is all about sacrifice. I get that it is more tiring than being among corporate bigwigs for 10 hours and making economic decisions.

I get how frustrated you must be to have to sacrifice your job and financial freedom so that you can provide for your children. I get how uncertain you are about the fact that your economic security now depends on your partner and not just you. I get how hard it is to not be able to hang out with your friends, exercise, or get a good night’s sleep.

I get how challenging it is, being locked up and being forced to to watch the children while imagining what you must be missing in the outside world. I also get that you become upset when my mother criticizes how you choose to raise our children, because nobody in the world knows what is best for children like their own mother.

I get that being a mother means carrying society’s greatest burdens. Being the person that nobody appreciates, values, or remembers. I write you this letter not just to tell you that you are missed, but additionally because I don’t want to go another day without telling you: “You are strong, doing an excellent job, and I admire you.”

I did not expect that ending. It looks like he learned his lesson the hard way!

Taken from-
www.awesomequotes4u.com

Meri Aashique

Song: Meri Aashiqui
Movie: Aashiqui 2

Music: Mithoon, Jeet Ganguly
Lyrics: Irshad Kamil, Sandeep Nath
Label: T-Series
Singers: Arjit Singh & Palak Muchhal 

________________________________

Tu mujhe chhod jaaye yeh nahi ho sakta saathiya

Meri baaton mein tera zikr sada
Meri yaad mein teri fikra sada
Main jo bhi hoon tum hi to ho
Mujhe tum se mili apni adaa

Kyun ki tum hi ho, ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho...
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

Tum hi ho, tum hi ho
Arz bhi, mera marz bhi...
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

Tere liye hi jiya main
Khud ko jo yun de diya hai
Teri wafaa ne mujhko sambhaala
Saare ghamo ko dil se nikaala
Main jo mit bhi gaya to wajood mera
Sada tujh mein rahe zinda... hmm...

Kyun ki tum hi ho, ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho...
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

Tum hi ho, tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho...
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

________________________________

- English Translation -

Your leaving me, my lover, is not possible

In my talks there's always a mention of You
In my memories, your worry is always there
I am what I am, it is because of You
From You only, I got my grace

Because it's only You, now it's only You
You're my life now
You're my peace, my pain also
You're my only love now

It's only You
My talks, my decisions (choices)
My peace, also my pain
You're my only love now

I lived for You only
I've given myself away in this way
Your faithfulness cared for me
It took away all the sadnesses from the heart
Even if I get eradicated, still my existence
Shall remain alive inside You forever

Because it's only You, now it's only You
You're my life now
You're my peace, my pain also
You're my only love now

It's only You
You're my life now
My peace, also my pain
You're my only love now

________________________________

This song is so near to my heart <3 &

(Commets are always welcome)

DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER :)

For a happy family, before & after him

Letter written by a wife after her husband's death in an accident
 

"Few things I learnt after my husband's death:-

We always believe we will live forever. Bad things always happen to others.

Only when things hit us bang on your head you realise... Life is so unpredictable....

My husband was an IT guy, All technical. And I am a chartered accountant.
Awesome combination you may think.

Techie guy so everything is on his laptop. His to do list. His e-bill and his bank statements in his email. He even maintained a folder which said IMPWDS wherein he stored all login id and passwords for all his online accounts. And even his laptop had a password. Techie guy so all the passwords were alpha-numeric with a special character not an easy one to crack. Office policy said passwords needed to be changed every 30 days. So every time I accessed his laptop I would realize it's a new password again. I would simply opt for asking him 'What's the latest password instead of taking the strain to memorize it.

You may think me being a Chartered Accountant would means everything is documented and filed properly. Alas many of my chartered accountant friends would agree that the precision we follow with our office documents and papers do not flow in to day to day home life. At office you have be epitome of Reliability / Competent / Diligent etc but. At home front there is always a tomorrow.

One fine morning my hubby expired in a bike accident on his way home from office.. He was just 33. His laptop with all his data crashed. Everything on his hard disk wiped off. No folder of IMPWDS to refer back to. His mobile with all the numbers on it was smashed. But that was just the beginning. I realised I had lot to learn.

9 years married to one of the best human beings with no kids just the two of us to fall back on but now I stood all alone and lost.

Being chartered accountant helped in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed help. His saving bank accounts, his salary bank accounts had no nominee. On his insurance his mom was the nominee and it was almost 2 years back she had expired. But this was just a start. I didn't know the password to his email account where all his e-bill came. I didn't know which expenses he paid by standing instructions.

His office front too was not easy. His department had changed recently. I didn't know his reporting boss name to start with when had he last claimed his shift allowance, his mobile reimbursement.

The house we bought with all the excitement on a loan thought with our joint salary we could afford the EMI.  when the home loans guys suggested insurance on the loan, we decided the instead of paying the premium the difference in the EMI on account of the insurance could be used pay towards prepayment of the loan and get the tenure down. We never thought what we would do if we have to live on a single salary. So now there was huge EMI to look into .

I realised I was in for a long haul.

Road accident case. So everywhere I needed a Death certificate, FIR report, Post Mortem report. For everything there were forms running into pages indemnity bonds, notary, surety to stand up for you. No objections certificates from your co-heirs.

I learnt other than your house, your land, Your car, your bike are also your property. So what if you are the joint owner of the flat you don't become the owner just because your hubby is no more. So what if your hubby expired in the bike accident and you are the nominee but if the bike is in a repairable condition .you have to get the bike transferred in your name to claim the insurance. And that was again not easy. The bike or car cannot be transferred in your name without going through a set of legal documents. Getting a Succession Certificate is another battle all together.

Then came the time you realise now you have to start changing all the bills, assets in your name. Your gas connection, electricity meter, your own house, your car, your investments and all sundries. And then change all the nominations where your own investments are concerned. And again a start of a new set of paperwork.

To say I was shaken my whole life had just turned upside down was an understatement. You realise you don't have time to morn and grieve for the person with whom you spend the best years of your life. Because you are busy sorting all the paper work.

I realised then how much I took life for granted. I thought being a chartered accountant I am undergoing so many difficulties, what would have happened to someone who was house maker who wouldn't understand this legal hotchpotch.

A sweet friend then told me dear this was not an end, you have no kids, your assets will be for all who stand to claim. After my hubby's sudden death. I realised it was time I took life more seriously. I now needed to make a Will. I would have laughed if a few months back if he had asked me to make one. But now life had taken a twist.

Lessons learnt this hard way were meant to be shared. After all why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more. Sorting some paperwork before we go will at least ease some of their grief.

1. Check all your nominations...
It's a usual practice to put a name (i.e in the first place if you have mentioned it) and royally forget about it. Most of us have named our parent as a nominee for investments, bank accounts opened before marriage. We have not changed the same even years after they are no longer there with us. Even your salary account usually has no nomination.. Kindly check all your Nominations.
- Bank Accounts
- Fixed Deposits, NSC
- Bank Lockers
- Demat Accounts
- Insurance (Life, Bike or Car or Property)
- Investments
- PF Pension Forms

2. Passwords..
We have passwords for practically everything. Email accounts, Bank accounts, even for the laptop you use. What happens when your next in kin cannot access any of these simply because they do not know your password... Put it down on a paper.

3. Investments.
Every year for tax purpose we do investments. Do we maintain a excel sheet about it. If so is it on the same laptop of which the password you had not shared. Where are those physical investments hard copy.

4. Will.
Make a Will. I know you will smile even I would had I not gone through all what I did. It would have made my life lot easier a lot less paperwork. I wouldn't had to provide an indemnity bond, get it motorised, ask surety to stand up, no objections certificates from others...

5. Liabilities.
When you take a loan say for your house or car. Check out on all the what if, what if I am not there tomorrow, what if I loose my job. Will the EMI still be within my range. If not get an insurance on the loan. The people left behind will not have to worry on something as basic as their own house.

My battles have just begun... But let us at least try and make few changes so that our loved ones would not suffer after we go. We do not know what will happen in the future. But as the Scout motto goes: Be prepared "

NEVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED DO THINGS APPROPRIATE FOR THE ONES WHO DEPEND ON YOU WITH LOVE.

NOTE: THIS IS A REAL INCIDENT AND NOT JUST A FORWARD

Please read at least 3 times. we are spending lots of time on waste like TV serials, Movies etc. Please spare 15 Min. for your loved one.

Excellent message.

Family management is not only cooking + cleaning + taking care of the dependents but also involves complex operational knowledge of finances...
The above message is a must for every family and its success

- feel like sharing this article
Hope ur family always remain happy