Embrace your shadow

Embrace your shadow.

There's a flip side of this self-care coin too. You also need to acknowledge that your "mean brain"—the one whispering those abusive things all the time—is a part of you, too, and you can't just wish her away. When you try to ignore these parts of yourself, they only yell louder to try to get your attention.

So if you want to release the old stories you tell yourself, really let go of the ways you hold yourself back, you have to truly embrace the part of yourself that’s doing all the yelling. Think of her like she’s just a super scared little kid, too.

-Anonymous

Inspiring story of Abraham Lincoln

Are you hurt? Bad Day at work? Read this

On his first day in office as president,
When Abraham Lincoln entered to give his Inaugural speech,

One man stood up and said,
"Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family"

And the whole senate laughed, They thought they had made a fool of Lincoln.

Lincoln looked at the man directly in the eye and said,
“Sir, I know that my father used to make shoes for your family, and there will be many others here. Because he made shoes the way nobody else can, he was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul into them. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself. If you have any complaint I can make you another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father”.

The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He was proud because his father did his job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.

Remember:
“No one can hurt you without your consent.”

“It is not what happens to us that hurts us. It is our response that hurts us. Be excellent at your work

Parenting- loving our children in a real way

Loving our children in a real way:

Loving my daughter comes so easily when
she wins a competition,
gets high marks,
listens to me,
keeps her room clean,
finishes her food,
pays attention while studying,
sleeps on time,
Never raises her voice and
practices dance/singing/drawing without me reminding her.

That's the  easy way to love....

However when I look back at my childhood I realize that the moments I really wanted love badly were when
I scored less marks,
failed in a competition,
couldn't fall asleep,
Didn't feel like studying,
Wanted to laze around,
Didn't finish the Tiffin,
Didn't complete homework,
Forgot an important assignment,
Fought with a friend,
Had a heartbreak,
Committed a mistake,
Felt guilty,
Felt lonely....

These were the moments when I needed my parents the most, I needed their assurance that it is okay to be human, to fall, to get hurt and what I wanted to listen in those moments was, "i know it hurts, but I'm here with you. Maybe we can't do anything about what happened, but I'm here with you. And I love you for what you are, always."

This is real and  unconditional way to love!
Yes I wanted to hear, "I love you" loud and clear....it was the only thing that could heal my heart. Love!

It's the moments when we lose control of ourselves that we want someone to hold us, isn't it? You don't need to be perfect....just be real!

Do you chose love the easy way or the real, unconditional way?

Today no matter what your child does, choose Love and see how it heals you as a parent.

Parenting thoughts by Thirukkural

All parents must read this******
*Tirukkural  by Tiruvalluvar (a Tamil  poet/writer) was written more than 5,000 yrs ago. It’s one of the ancient science on Human Behaviour, which has not changed in spite of modern education  & technology!*

*SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL:*

1. *If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.*

2. *If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.*

3. *If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.*

4. *If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.*

5. *If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.*

6. *If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.*

7. *If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order & command them.*
 
8. *If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour & you give little attention to good behaviour.*

9. *If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something & not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it*

10. *If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.*

11. *If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.*

12. *If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.*

13. *If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others & think its normal behaviour.*

14. *If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions*

15. *If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right*

*Pls fwd this to Parents who care to read this!*
*IT MAY GUIDE OUR MODERN  PARENTING!*
*Positive Parenting!*

Stop Judging without knowledge...

An interesting read..
A girl by name Fatima went to school in the neighbouring village where she wasn't known well.
For three weeks, she came to school late and every time the teacher punished her.
On the fourth week, Fatima didn't attend school at all and many thought she had GIVEN UP on school due to the everyday punishment.
However, Fatima reported again on fifth week and this time she came earlier than everybody.
When the teacher came to class, Fatima was punished for not attending school the previous week but the teacher was also kind enough to commend her for coming early that day, stating that the punishments had finally yielded some results.
Just then, Fatima asked if she could say something and the teacher gave her permission.
She started:
*I've been raised up by a single mother without a brother or a sister. Five weeks ago, my mother fell ill and was hospitalized.
The three weeks I came late, I had to prepare something for her every morning and pass by the hospital to deliver the same.
Unfortunately, mother passed away last week and that's the reason I didn't come to school. We buried her last Friday."_*
*_"Today I came early since I didn't have to prepare anything or even pass by the hospital. And now that she is gone, I will always be here early''_*
As she sat down, no one in the whole class was able to hold their tears, the teacher was not spared either.
*Lesson:*
How many times do we judge others for things we know not..? We ask questions like;
- When will you get married
- When will you have kids?
- When will you find a job?
Etc.
Do we attempt to understand their situations or we just judge from the 'case scenarios' Some situations are not relative and what we think could be very far from the truth. Don't assume you know what others go through or that people move in the same pace or direction as you.. life is far from that..
* just be kind enough to love one another as God Has commanded, take time and kindly find out why your friend is not phoning, why your messages are not being replied promptly, why they are not coming to congressional prayers, why someone is missing in our midst as a colleague, friend, brother or sister even why someone is always late*
Be kind, always..

I won

"Unfamiliar voice" - a short story

After a long time, the wait is over

Yes, yes, he is here to talk with you... Her heart says.

She felt a lot of emotion in that single moment. She wants to cry,  she wants to get happy, she wants to dance. She feel like, she become alive again.

And the moment comes. She feels like, Is it really true, is she is listening his voice??
For a moment their is a silence. Than she listens his voice and her heart skips a beat.

Though she is little confused as the "tone is the same" but the voice is "unfamiliar". "Its same like the way, "He is unfamiliar with her emotions, which she has gone through, in her lonely moments."

With so many emotions and a shiver in her voice, she tries alot to handle herself.
She cant able to speak but she is desperate to listen, to the one she is craving for.

She wants to fight with him, she wants to cry while hugging him. She wants to ask so many questions with him which she guess, she will never going to ask with him.

The feeling of consciousness took over her. She try to speak but its like, she forgot all the vocabulary she had learned from her childhood .
She dont understand why this madness is their in her. Though, she has already prepared herself to be calm & quiet while talking with him, but all fails.

Is this is what we call, the excitement?? Or the madness?? Or to care for someone?? Her subconscious mind is thinking that.

Now, she tries to catch the rhythm and spoke. She is talking on all the stupid stuff, that really makes her feel like a teenager, who can do anything to stop the one she really care.

With lots of mixed emotions & questions, their comes the end of her unforgettable conversation. She dont know, will she ever be able to listen his "unfamiliar" voice again. But still she is happy.

Once again she left everything on her "destiny" and moved with the flow.

Written by
-dilwaalikudi

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