Monday 31 July 2017

Parenting thoughts by Thirukkural

All parents must read this******
*Tirukkural  by Tiruvalluvar (a Tamil  poet/writer) was written more than 5,000 yrs ago. It’s one of the ancient science on Human Behaviour, which has not changed in spite of modern education  & technology!*

*SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL:*

1. *If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.*

2. *If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.*

3. *If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.*

4. *If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.*

5. *If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.*

6. *If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.*

7. *If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order & command them.*
 
8. *If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour & you give little attention to good behaviour.*

9. *If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something & not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it*

10. *If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.*

11. *If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.*

12. *If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.*

13. *If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others & think its normal behaviour.*

14. *If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions*

15. *If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right*

*Pls fwd this to Parents who care to read this!*
*IT MAY GUIDE OUR MODERN  PARENTING!*
*Positive Parenting!*

Sunday 30 July 2017

Stop Judging without knowledge...

An interesting read..
A girl by name Fatima went to school in the neighbouring village where she wasn't known well.
For three weeks, she came to school late and every time the teacher punished her.
On the fourth week, Fatima didn't attend school at all and many thought she had GIVEN UP on school due to the everyday punishment.
However, Fatima reported again on fifth week and this time she came earlier than everybody.
When the teacher came to class, Fatima was punished for not attending school the previous week but the teacher was also kind enough to commend her for coming early that day, stating that the punishments had finally yielded some results.
Just then, Fatima asked if she could say something and the teacher gave her permission.
She started:
*I've been raised up by a single mother without a brother or a sister. Five weeks ago, my mother fell ill and was hospitalized.
The three weeks I came late, I had to prepare something for her every morning and pass by the hospital to deliver the same.
Unfortunately, mother passed away last week and that's the reason I didn't come to school. We buried her last Friday."_*
*_"Today I came early since I didn't have to prepare anything or even pass by the hospital. And now that she is gone, I will always be here early''_*
As she sat down, no one in the whole class was able to hold their tears, the teacher was not spared either.
*Lesson:*
How many times do we judge others for things we know not..? We ask questions like;
- When will you get married
- When will you have kids?
- When will you find a job?
Etc.
Do we attempt to understand their situations or we just judge from the 'case scenarios' Some situations are not relative and what we think could be very far from the truth. Don't assume you know what others go through or that people move in the same pace or direction as you.. life is far from that..
* just be kind enough to love one another as God Has commanded, take time and kindly find out why your friend is not phoning, why your messages are not being replied promptly, why they are not coming to congressional prayers, why someone is missing in our midst as a colleague, friend, brother or sister even why someone is always late*
Be kind, always..

Tuesday 18 July 2017

"Unfamiliar voice" - a short story

After a long time, the wait is over

Yes, yes, he is here to talk with you... Her heart says.

She felt a lot of emotion in that single moment. She wants to cry,  she wants to get happy, she wants to dance. She feel like, she become alive again.

And the moment comes. She feels like, Is it really true, is she is listening his voice??
For a moment their is a silence. Than she listens his voice and her heart skips a beat.

Though she is little confused as the "tone is the same" but the voice is "unfamiliar". "Its same like the way, "He is unfamiliar with her emotions, which she has gone through, in her lonely moments."

With so many emotions and a shiver in her voice, she tries alot to handle herself.
She cant able to speak but she is desperate to listen, to the one she is craving for.

She wants to fight with him, she wants to cry while hugging him. She wants to ask so many questions with him which she guess, she will never going to ask with him.

The feeling of consciousness took over her. She try to speak but its like, she forgot all the vocabulary she had learned from her childhood .
She dont understand why this madness is their in her. Though, she has already prepared herself to be calm & quiet while talking with him, but all fails.

Is this is what we call, the excitement?? Or the madness?? Or to care for someone?? Her subconscious mind is thinking that.

Now, she tries to catch the rhythm and spoke. She is talking on all the stupid stuff, that really makes her feel like a teenager, who can do anything to stop the one she really care.

With lots of mixed emotions & questions, their comes the end of her unforgettable conversation. She dont know, will she ever be able to listen his "unfamiliar" voice again. But still she is happy.

Once again she left everything on her "destiny" and moved with the flow.

Written by
-dilwaalikudi

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Journeyoffeelings@gmail.com

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Saturday 15 July 2017

Parenting..

Little Aditya, was in tears. He is an 8 year old boy. His Mom was shouting at him, as he has not completed his math homework, even after an hour. Aditya's parents are Ruchi, and Rishi. Both are working in MNC's. Ruchi took a career break of 5 years, to take care of Aditya. Now, she had joined her office again from a junior level, whereas all her friends have moved to the senior level. When Rishi, entered the home, Aditya was in tears, Ruchi was shouting at him. “What is 8 * 6, Adi, come on, I taught you tables twice yesterday, still you are unable to remember. What am I supposed to do? You remember all cartoon stories, but not one simple tables”.

Aditya tried to remember a lot, he couldn't remember anything, and he thought it may be 48, but he was scared to tell his mom, what if it is wrong, she will get upset. He thought to himself, “Mom, I will Improve”. He didn’t know how. He wanted to, he wanted to see his mother happy.

When, he was in the younger classes, He used to win, many prizes in different competitions. He and his mother were very happy. As he grew up, suddenly he felt he was pushed in a complex world, he couldn't grasp many things, and his fellow students could do. He went to meet doctors and counselors, his mother thought he was sick. He was not sure whether he was sick or not. May be he has a poor memory like his mom and teachers say. He was not able to make a decision. Tonight, his father has come early from the office. He was happy. He will rescue him.

Soon as his father, freshened up, he gave a hug to Aditya. To Aadi’s relief, he said with a huge smile, “Go and play”. He was happy, but he looked at his mother with wide eyes, and said slowly,” Dad, I didn’t complete my homework!” His father, replied, “I will do it, don’t worry.” Aadi, again gave a bear hug and ran outside to play with his friends. Ruchi was upset. She retorted angrily,”Will you go and write his exams too?”

After Aditya left, Rishi, hugged Ruchi, “Why are you so tensed dear. He will pick up, don't worry”. Ruchi was upset,” Do you think you love him more than, me, what is the point you want to prove? You never attend the Parent Teachers Meeting, I have to listen from teachers, and I need to face the other parents. You just don't need to face anything”.

Rishi kept quiet, “Ruchi, do you think, by shouting at him, things would improve. You thought, he may have some learning disabilities, but the psychologist proved there is nothing like that. All children are not same”.Ruchi replied back, “But I am spending so much time with him. I am always teaching him, each and everything, still what do you expect me to do?”

Rishi, smiled and said,” I expect you, not to expect anything from him. Don’t expect him to learn things faster, don’t expect him to be like you.” Ruchi retorted back angrily,” I am not expecting him to get first prize in everything like me, but at least he shouldn’t be so dull. Now he is 3 rd std and he is not sure about 5*5=25, how his life will be. All his friends, will reach a good position in life, what his life will become? I am so scared. Rishi, I put in so much hardwork on him, still why he is not getting marks?”

Rishi kept quiet. Ruchi, always wanted the best. She was always best in whatever she did, the fact she didn't understand is Aadi is the best child. He is very friendly with everyone, always tries to help others.He was hoping, Ruchi will find her answer soon.

After few days,his paternal aunt, Durga Bua, came to visit them. Her son has settled in US. She occasionally visits India,to visit her relatives. After many years, she has come to visit them. Ruchi loves Durga Bua, everyone loves her for her soft words and naïve nature. She was playing with Aadi and commented to Ruchi, “Aadi is a very good boy”. For which Ruchi, replied in a dull voice.” Hmmmm”.she sensed something wrong, but didn’t ask anything.

After Aadi left, she asked, “what happened Ruchi?”. Ruchi shared her worries with her aunt. She listened everything carefully. She went to the small garden which Ruchi maintains in her balcony, and said,” I observe you have a beautiful garden. How do you maintain them? Ruchi replied happily,” I take personal care,bua”. Her aunt said, “Why is this aloe Vera plant, shorter than others, is it a new plant, or you are not watering them properly?” Ruchi whispered, “No, aunt, I have planted it a year back. I take care of them properly, few plants grow faster and few takes time”.

Then, aunt asked, “What do you do then? Do you tell the shorter plant, daily, grow up, look at the other plants, otherwise your life would be of no use or you nurture them slowly that it takes time in growing and you still love them”.

Ruchi felt something snap in her. She looked at her aunt, with tears in her eyes.

Durga Bua, said,” There are 7 types of learning skills for a child, few learn by looking, few by hearing, few by explaining, few understand things by doing activities, and few learn by practically doing the same things again and again. A mother or teacher should try to teach a child, all the 7 methods, and then understand the child’s best learning language and teach accordingly. You can’t think. Your child is dull. Each and every child is unique and special. Can’t you see Aadi is trying everything to make you happy? He loves you so much. If you nurture him now, it is good for both of you. If he accepts, he is dull and turns to be a loser, what will you do?”

Ruchi shuddered by the thought,” Understand your child and help him to understand things. I know you are very busy and Rishi doesn’t help you. Still I am sure, once you are clear and support, Aadi, Rishi will try his level best to help you. Just try. It is always too soon to quit with your child.”

Ruchi kept quiet, deep in her thoughts. Durga bua knew, she will find a different family, when she visits them again.

Taken from some social website


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